By Mustafa Bilgic · Last updated 20 June 2026

Wedding Invitation Wording When the Couple Is Hosting

Q: What is the phrase for a couple hosting their own wedding?

The classic couple-host request line is 'request the pleasure of your company at their wedding' for a secular venue, or 'the honour of your presence' for a religious one. The word 'their' signals that the couple, not parents, is inviting. First-person forms like 'we invite you to celebrate our marriage' are equally correct and warmer.

Q: Can you still mention parents if the couple is hosting?

Yes, and it is a lovely touch. The phrase 'together with their families' or 'together with their parents' lets you lead with your own names while still honouring everyone, even though you are paying. You can also thank parents by name in a separate program or toast rather than on the invitation face.

Q: Should the bride's or the groom's name go first when the couple hosts?

Traditionally the bride's name goes first in a different-sex wedding, but when the couple hosts themselves there is no obligation to follow that order — choose whatever reads best to you. For same-sex couples, order by alphabet, by sound, or by preference. The couple's equal billing is the only thing that matters.

Q: Is it okay to use 'we' on a wedding invitation?

Absolutely. First person — 'we invite you,' 'please join us as we say I do,' 'we're getting married' — is natural and increasingly common when the couple hosts. It is warmer and more direct than the third person. The third person ('request the pleasure of their company') is simply the more formal alternative, not a requirement.

More couples pay for their own weddings now than at any point in living memory, and the invitation gets to say so — by simply leading with your names. Here is how to word a couple-hosted invitation, formal or relaxed, and how to still thank the parents you love.

The short answer: When you host yourselves, open with your own names — no parental host line needed. Formally: "Olivia Carter and James Bennett request the pleasure of your company at their wedding." Relaxed: "Olivia and James invite you to celebrate their marriage." First person — "we invite you" — is equally correct and warmer. To honour parents anyway, add "together with their families."

The one shift: the invitation comes from you

Every other invitation question — date format, reception line, RSVP — is unchanged. The only thing couple-hosting changes is the top of the card: instead of a parental host line, the couple's names are the host line. That single move tells guests who is welcoming them, and it frees you from the "whose parents go first" puzzle entirely.

You have two registers to choose from, and both are correct:

Third-person formal — "Olivia Carter and James Bennett request the pleasure of your company at their wedding." Note the word their: it is the quiet signal that the couple is hosting.
First-person warm — "We invite you to celebrate our marriage," "Please join us as we say 'I do.'" More direct, increasingly popular, and perfectly polite.

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Formal couple-host example

Fully traditional in tone, but issued by the couple. "At their wedding" is the giveaway that no parents are hosting. Use "the honour of your presence" instead if your ceremony is in a house of worship.

Olivia Grace Carter
and
James Michael Bennett
request the pleasure of your company
at their wedding
Saturday, the twelfth of September
two thousand twenty-six
at half after four o'clock
The Rosewood Garden · Charleston, South Carolina
Reception to follow

Religious-venue formal

The same couple-host structure with the religious request line and "presence."

Together with their families
Olivia Grace Carter
and James Michael Bennett
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
Saturday, the twelfth of September, two thousand twenty-six
Saint Andrew's Church · Charleston, South Carolina

Relaxed couple-host example

When you host and want warmth, first person shines. This reads like the two of you actually inviting people, because you are.

We're getting married!
Olivia & James
invite you to celebrate with us
Saturday, September 12, 2026 · 4:30 in the afternoon
The Rosewood Garden, Charleston
Dinner, drinks, and dancing to follow
RSVP by August 1 at oliviaandjames.com

First-person formal (a quiet favourite)

You can be both formal and warm by keeping elegant phrasing in the first person — a register many couples love.

We invite you
to share in our joy
as we are married
Olivia Carter & James Bennett
Saturday, September 12, 2026
at half past four in the afternoon
The Rosewood Garden, Charleston

How to thank parents while hosting yourselves

Hosting your own wedding does not mean leaving parents off — you simply lead with your names and credit them gracefully. Three tactful options:

"Together with their families" above your names — the most common, honours everyone without listing them.
"Together with their parents" — slightly more specific, still warm and uncluttered.
Thank them off the invitation — name parents in the ceremony program, a welcome note, or a toast. The invitation stays clean; the gratitude is explicit where there is room for it.

"Their" vs "our" — pick a lane

Keep your pronouns consistent. If you open in the third person ("Olivia and James request the pleasure of your company at their wedding"), stay third person throughout. If you open in the first person ("We invite you"), keep "our" and "us" the rest of the way. Mixing the two — "Olivia and James invite you to our wedding" — reads as a small slip. Both registers are correct; just don't switch mid-card.

Everything below the host line is unchanged

Date, time, venue, reception, and RSVP all follow the usual rules regardless of who hosts. For the full structure and more variations, see our wedding invitation wording guide. If you want the clean, contemporary voice throughout, our modern wedding invitation wording guide pairs perfectly with couple-hosting. For a relaxed backyard tone, the casual wedding invitation wording guide fits. And when both families are pitching in alongside you, our both parents hosting wording guide shows how to share the credit.

Design your couple-hosted invitation

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Frequently asked questions

How do you word a wedding invitation when the couple is paying?

Open directly with the couple's names — no parental host line is needed. Formally: "Olivia Carter and James Bennett request the pleasure of your company at their wedding." Relaxed: "Olivia and James invite you to celebrate their marriage." Because you are hosting, the invitation comes from you.

What is the phrase for a couple hosting their own wedding?

The classic couple-host request line is "request the pleasure of your company at their wedding" (secular) or "the honour of your presence" (religious). The word "their" signals the couple is inviting. First-person forms like "we invite you to celebrate our marriage" are equally correct and warmer.

Can you still mention parents if the couple is hosting?

Yes, and it is a lovely touch. "Together with their families" or "together with their parents" lets you lead with your own names while honouring everyone, even though you are paying. You can also thank parents by name in a program or toast rather than on the invitation.

Should the bride's or the groom's name go first when the couple hosts?

Tradition puts the bride's name first in a different-sex wedding, but when the couple hosts there is no obligation — choose what reads best. For same-sex couples, order by alphabet, by sound, or by preference. Equal billing is what matters.

Is it okay to use "we" on a wedding invitation?

Absolutely. First person — "we invite you," "join us as we say I do," "we're getting married" — is natural and common when the couple hosts. It is warmer than the third person, which is simply the more formal alternative, not a requirement.