By Mustafa Bilgic · Last updated 23 June 2026
Who to Invite to Your Wedding
The guest list drives your venue, budget and stress level. Here's a clear, tier-based method for deciding who to invite, how to handle plus-ones and kids, and how to cut the list without hurt feelings.
The tier method
The easiest way to build a fair, trimmable list is to sort everyone into four tiers, then add tiers until you hit your capacity:
| Tier | Who | Invite? |
|---|---|---|
| Tier 1 | Immediate family, the wedding party, and their partners | Always |
| Tier 2 | Grandparents, aunts/uncles, lifelong friends | Almost always |
| Tier 3 | Cousins, broader friend circle, parents' close friends | If space allows |
| Tier 4 | Colleagues, neighbours, single-guest plus-ones | Budget permitting |
Cut from the bottom up. Because the tiers are pre-ranked, trimming to fit your venue is a numbers exercise, not an emotional one.
People you generally must invite
- Immediate family of both partners (parents, siblings, and siblings' partners).
- The wedding party — and their spouses/partners.
- Anyone who received a save-the-date (sending one is a promise).
- Officiant — and it's gracious to include their partner.
Plus-ones: the standard rule
The convention: married, engaged, and cohabiting partners are always invited together, and it's kind to extend a plus-one to anyone in a serious relationship. Beyond that, plus-ones are a matter of budget and space — and they're communicated on the envelope, never the invitation face. See plus-one etiquette for the full breakdown.
Kids or no kids
Decide early and apply it consistently — all kids, no kids, or immediate-family kids only. An adults-only wedding is communicated by addressing each envelope to the adults only, reinforced gently on your wedding website.
The tricky cases
- Coworkers: all-or-nothing within a team avoids awkwardness; or invite none and keep it simple.
- The "B-list": acceptable if handled discreetly — send the first round early so second-round invites still arrive 5+ weeks out.
- Parents' guests: if parents are contributing, give each side a fair share of the list and a number to work within.
- Estranged relatives: entirely your call — there's no obligation to invite anyone.
The capacity rule
Invite to your venue's real capacity, not a hoped-for decline rate. A typical 10–20% of guests decline, but never bank on it — if everyone says yes, you must have room for them.
Word it, then make it beautiful
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Open the free editor →Frequently asked questions
How do you decide who to invite to a wedding?
Sort everyone into tiers: immediate family and the wedding party first, then close relatives and friends, then extended circles and colleagues. Add tiers until you reach your venue capacity and budget, cutting from the bottom up.
Who must you invite to your wedding?
Immediate family of both partners, the wedding party and their partners, your officiant, and anyone who received a save-the-date. Married, engaged and cohabiting partners of any guest are always invited too.
Do you have to give every guest a plus-one?
No. Married, engaged and cohabiting partners are always invited together, and it's kind to include serious partners. Beyond that, plus-ones are optional and depend on your budget and space.
How do you cut down a wedding guest list?
Use tiers and trim from the lowest tier up — colleagues, distant acquaintances, then casual friends. Apply consistent rules (like no coworkers or no kids) rather than cutting individuals, which feels personal.
How many guests will actually come to a wedding?
Roughly 80–90% of invited guests typically attend, so about 10–20% decline. Never rely on that, though — invite only to your venue's true capacity in case everyone accepts.
Related: the free editor · Plus-one etiquette · Adults-only wording · How many to order · Save the date wording · Invitation etiquette · Invitation timeline